Can a Month Be an Increment of Distance?

So the month of October will be my last in Iraq. So much can be going through my mind about what I can share with you but all I can focus on is my family. I mean I could talk about my growth and experience, which is a lot if I cared to share with you. But after everything, the losses, the gains, the disappointments and the encouragements, I find it shallow to try and come up with something that will genuinely portray it for you when there are so many out there who gave a lot more of themselves already doing that very thing and a lot more eloquently. I guess I can say I don't feel that sense of honor and pride that is described by others. I mean I feel honor and I feel pride but it feels so much more deeply personal. Maybe I am being selfish but I don't think so. The only thing that swells my chest and gets my heart in a mad dash is the idea of coming home to a family that wants to see me just as much as I want to see them if not more.

The strangest and most unexpected by-product of the deployment has been the growth of the love and appreciation I have for my wife. The saddest thing that I had to learn is that so many good soldiers suffer from loneliness or really terrible relationships. I count myself blessed to be able to say that I experienced neither through out this entire deployment. It's true that they say that deployments end a lot of marriages. It's a sad fact but almost everyone of them were never meant to make it in the long run anyway. Just the conditions of the deployment are obviously just the perfect storm to bring out all the things that these poor soldiers or their spouses had been keeping from each other or more importantly themselves. I guess that's why I feel like I can't portray appropriately how and the others may have changed. Like I said my own growth is still a little too personal, and to be honest still too vague for me to fully understand anyway, but I can comfortably generalize that not a single one of us didn't change from being over here. For good and bad. but despite all that my wife and I love each other more! How am I so lucky? I don't deserve it. But I know a gift when I see it and I don't need to check the teeth to know it's a good one ( if you aren't getting what I mean email me pogiabbott@gmail.com I'll break the gift horse analogy down for you:).

My luck extended to my relationship with my healthy, overly active children. They grew so much without me. That by far has been the most unendurable indignity as a father and a man to be asked to go through, second only to the break in my family had to be exposed to while I was in Kuwait not even two weeks after I had left them for the year. If you aren't familiar with the event you can read my wife's blog @ http://theabbottfam.blogspot.com/2008/11/thats-it-im-getting-myself-bat.html . But aside from that trial and all the others that my children went through without my guidance and protection they came out still loving me. Can't possibly expect to ask for more than that. They may need a little bit of "Daddy Toughness" but they are the greatest kids! I am proud.

This month will surely seem like a year to me for it to finish itself. May I endure it and keep all the stuff I guess you can say I "gained", some others might say I've "contracted". But I am still me. Despite all of it. That's the only thing that I'm sure of thus far. I still held to me beliefs and convictions. I can honestly say joining the military felt much like jumping into the cold lake at scout camp for our swim checks to make sure we wouldn't drown. At the first plunge I was panicked by the sudden, painful drop in temperature that all that I was able to accomplish in warm, non threatening environments, would actually become failures. But as I kept myself afloat and then stroking my way to the end of the goal I found the contrary. I held to the things my parents and my God taught me through the life I had taken for granted. I finished the swim check in scout camp, surprising myself. I finished this deployment, gratifying myself. I can't be so arrogant...I'm not done yet but I can't help it, it's much like "senior-itis" or being "trunky". But I think I earned it. Just like I earned the right to a warm towel at the end of the frigid swim across a small lake in the Uintahs to prove my worth as a swimmer and as a scout.

I believe in God. I believe in the military. I believe in soldiers. I may not believe in politicians but that's why I love and believe in this country. Few members of this race get the chance to speak against their leaders. We may not be exclusive in our right of speech and criticism of those that handle our government along with our other inalienable rights but we are still special... Lucky. I don't think I will ever get to take that for granted again.

Home Stretch

So I have been away from home for nine months now and look back thinking "it's only been that effing long!" and "Wow how the time limps feebly along when you reside in hell." My belief that hell is more a state of mind in the here after has only be affirmed by my stay in Iraq. If hell was only flames and pitch forks well I already survived and surpassed all those punishments. The people I have had to submit to has really taken my pride down a few dials. And yet I am surprisingly grateful for my deployment to Iraq. Never, even if I lived in the worst living conditions the U.S. might have to offer, would I have been through the hardships and trials that I experienced out here and I can honestly say that I grew through all of it. No matter how hard I tried not to.

So I mentioned excuses last time and I thought I would touch on that a little. Interesting trait that a lot of otherwise hard working honest soldiers tend to pick up in the Army is how to come up with excuses because it's the only way to stay out of trouble because the military especially the Army is all about pointing a finger when something goes wrong. So a soldier has no choice but to explain why there are not enough supplies for a project or missions aren't executed exactly to plan. Well, crap happens but that is far from a good enough excuse. So quick talkers are promoted while the honest or bad liars are considered problems or hinderences to their leaders image. It's disheartening in a way. I mean I still believe in the Army and that it does more good than bad but it is hard to see soldiers, sergeants, officers and civilians take this same tactic and make it habit.


Although I see those who are rewarded for lying and making excuses I still stick to the things I was brought up to be. Come hell or high water(wink) I will never lower my character to simply get ahead. Life is long enough to take the dignified path. Maybe I am letting my scruples dictate too much of my career but I guess when it comes to my honor and faith I could give a flip. So here's to you sell outs out there kissing butts and taking names. May you be happy knowing that you achieved it by wrapping your lips around things you normally wouldn't.

SPC. Abbott

Six Month Summary

Okay I have far too long neglected the purpose of this blog. At first it was for practical reasons ie; didn't have internet access, concern for operational security, chain of command involvement in the blogging process, etc. But if I boil all of these down, all that remains at the bottom of the pan is excuses. Which I will make another post about but first I am compelled to give a somewhat involved/simple summary of my deployment to Iraq thus far. Because I no longer fear operational security(because I know the ins and outs now) and I certainly no longer have concerns about attention from the chain of command(the stimulation of being in Iraq has worn down to a dull hum for most of them now instead of the high pitch scream it was initially).

I arrived in Kuwait in the month of November 2008 and it was hot! I couldn't belive it. How could anywhere in the world actually not be cold in November? We recieved training, was given time to acclimate and get over our jet lag. It was an intersting little stay. It is where all Army and Air Force filter through before moving on to Iraq or Afghanistan so there is a constant flux of movement in and out of the post we were at. We were only there for about three weeks and then we moved on to Mosul, Iraq.

The flight was a little crowded but luckily short even though we flew to the northern most american post in Iraq, Forward Operations Base (FOB) Marez. Once we arrived here I had a feeling of doom at the realization that this place will become all too familiar with a little less than a year left to go. We were assigned living quarters that resemble cargo containers on cargo ships although surprisingly comfortable. Got a roommate that I miraculously get along with really well. And then told to get to work.

As I mentioned before our chain of command, especially at the top, had felt an invigorated sensation from being in a theater of war. So we enlisted men felt the negative side of the excitement of our bosses. They had a lot to prove and only a year to do it. Every task felt like we were a chicken victimized by a bad decapitation. We still had a head but it was holding on by a remnant of tissue, which my own father found, can prolong the chicken's life that much longer thus causing that much more of an eradic animal whose nervous system is making a failed attempt at self preservation while also causing that much more of a mess of blood and noise. That was us.

The first three or so months were this way. Our bosses had only this one chance to prove their mettle as combat commanders when the action in Iraq was beginning to die down do to the succes of the troop surge. The troop surge gave the armed forces the shot in the leg it needed to finally break the insurgents attempts to manipulate the weaker people of Iraq. Most Iraqis don't give a flip about who is charge. They just want to be able to care for their own and be left alone. Who the frick doesn't share that exact same sentiment I ask you!! Well, the few ruthless, idealogical radicals do and they wish to capitalize on the victimizable state that a post war torn country tends to have. And with an american Combat Operations Post (COP, a small version of a FOB) in almost every major part of every city do to the troop surge, the bad guys didn't have anywhere left to hide so the only chance they had was to get out of the way and go live their lives instead of needlessly ending it.

I went on leave in February to Utah. It was fantastic and didn't have a moment wasted to neglect. I had fifteen days to live life like I wasn't ivolved in a war and you better believe I wasn't going to let any of it be used unwisely. Went on some sensational dates with the wife which by the way I must pay tribute the success of my entire R+R. She is more than a magical dream of a partner in life but she ensures me with everything that she does that I will be happy for the rest of eternity and I will always have to be on my A game to keep up with half of the things that she does for me and my children. I love my wife! Spent the best quality time I could with the kids and we all went to Disneyland for about five days. And it had to end...

I didn't want it to end but I felt something that drew me back to FOB Marez. I had become close to the guys of my platoon and they had been working harder because of my absence. At least that was my concern anyway whether or not it was true, although I didn't want to leave it was time to get back to work. When I got back I found that a lot had changed while I was gone. I had a new Platoon Sergeant and we were working on building a burm around the entire city of Mosul, Iraq. A burm is a mound of dirt that follows the perimeter of a given target. It's a cheap way of fortifying a position or a city in this intance, to stop insurgents from bringing large amounts of explosives into the city.

We are vertical engineers. That means we build UP. Building a burm is for horizantol engineers, dozers, bucket loaders and the like. So naturally we were a little daunted by the switch up, ironic since our battalion motto is "Never Daunted". I know now that our motto is a form of propaganda to keep soldiers from feeling that maybe they are being asked too much... We continued with the burm for some time until it was completed. It was fun actually. It meant leaving the city often to where the war hadn't taken such a toll and being in a relatively safer area. The irony was though that just as we were rapping up the last of our mission, my squad leader Sergeant Guyton was involved in a grenade attack that injured him. Not badly but enough for a trip home. A million dollar wound as some might say. And that, to this point is the only "casualty" we have suffered to this point. May we not have another...

Since then we have been doing every type of chore that an engineer can be expected to perform. Most of the other guys in the Company have been building SEA huts.

SEA huts are a simple frame and roof. Not the fanciest feat of condtruction but still good practice for practical carpentry and other construction disciplines. But our Platoon has been doing that while also putting up conctrete barriers to further fortify our defenses, laying down concrete pads for some of the most bizzare things, which I will post about another time, Rapid Crater Repair (RCR pronounced "ricker")and any other "hey you!" type jobs that our bosses can think of that might be needful for the "War on Terror, terror, terror,....".

Which leads me up to now. I am healthy, happy, and am more than half way done with all this "SHtuff". Sorry that this post was so long. whew...glad to get it all down on written script of some kind though. Heavan knows I don't keep a journal. God bless and I will be posting regularly now so check me out when you get bored. I promise I will compound your boredom even more. :)

pics and a video of corey

So I know that everyone is wanting to see pics of the deployment. Corey has been super busy and super tired lately and he has a really slow connection right now. So I thought that I would just post a slide of some pics and a video to hold everyone over until Corey will be able to delete this and then do a much better job at making a post about everything.

Thank you everyone for your love and support during this time in our lives, we love you all.